Mystic Dog
Aries
21 March - 20 April
A new era is coming. You may be dispatched with before it arrives.
Taurus
21 April - 21 May
The stars say precious little.
Gemini
22 May - 21 June
Today you will wonder how monkeys respond to sarcasm.
Cancer
22 June - 22 July
You know that your beliefs aren't ever really your own, dont you?
Leo
23 July - 23 August
Perform your very best lamb impression to a stranger in the vain hope it'll bring you luck.
Virgo
24 August - 23 September
The collective term for a group of bankers is a 'wunch'. Share this news with others.
Libra
24 September - 23 October
A frank and warm heart-to-heart with a much loved relative this week will convince you that they have completely lost it.
Sagittarius
23 November - 21 December
A new era is coming. You may be dispatched with before it arrives.
Scorpio
24 October - 22 November
Your dreams are actually flashbacks from a past life. You really did fall to your death once. It hurt. Alot.
Capricorn
22 December - 20 January
Take the Mystic Dog for a walk and see where you end up.
Aquarius
21 January - 19 February
If you have read this its too late. But you can try anyway.
Pisces
20 February - 20 March
Smoking cannabis recreationally is about as harmful as helping an old lady across the road.
About Mystic Dog
Mystic dog has four paws and a third eye. He knows things that can not be known. He is the most powerful dog to have ever lived. All hail dog.
