Submitted by Dani Nicci on 29 April 2009 - 12:16pm
As the threat of Mexican swine flu reaches newspaper headlines, several media outfits are coming down with a new strain of the virus known as media-flu-fever.
Symptoms to look out for include panicked speculation, uncontrollable repetition of the word 'pandemic', arbitrary figures indicating death-toll of Mexicans regardless of cause of demise, and pictures of anyone who may have once said the word swine.
This new strain of media-virus, dubbed 0hN0, is spreading fast with no vaccine available to the general public, who come into unfortunate contact with the media everyday.
The Daily Mail was one of the first British papers to show severe symptoms of the virus after their entire front-page was devoted solely to condemning anybody who likes Mexican food.
Some individuals have caught the flu from their local papers; the most worrying case being a man from London who became so disorientated that he began to blame Gordon Brown for the outbreak.
The general public is being advised to avoid sneezing into newspapers, using them as rudimentary food vessels where ordinary plates are available or flying them as kites, as these actions will serve only to exacerbate a very serious problem indeed.
