Scientists Intercept Interplantery Memo From Parallel World

Scientists from Cambridge University have intercepted an interplanetary memo from a parallel world to Earth known as Htrae. In the document, Htrae officials have outlined the success of western governments’ 'War on Democracy', and highlighted the United Kingdom as the measuring stick for which to hit people around the head with.

“These guys are genius,” it exclaims. “They’re headed by an unelected sovereign, governed by an unelected leader, who is aided by unelected cabinet members, and it’s all overseen by an unelected continental commission. It’s zangin brilliant,” it continued.

When quizzed about the find, Professor Strangeways commented, “As far as I know, nobody has intercepted any kind of alien memo before. And if I had to guess, I’d say ‘zangin was an expletive.” When pushed for further comment, he added: “In fact I quite like. I may start dropping it into conversation.”

It’s understood that this isn’t the first time documents have appeared through the vortex of time and space. In the late '60s a video tape was discovered that condemned Earth’s popularising of peace, love and free thinking. “Yes, I believe that’s true,” said an anonymous professor.

“However, we were several years away from inventing the video recorder and as soon as the technology came along someone accidentally taped over it with Match of the Day. Quite a hullabaloo, I can tell you. But we believe from the video’s label, which read: 'Look what happens when pot-smoking prolats act of free will (tho the music is rather zangin’ good)', that they were a bit worried about the downfall of deference,” he mused.

“However, I think Arsenal beat Manchester United 3-1 in a rather thrilling match, so the tape wasn’t a total waste of everyone’s time,” he enthused.

When we pressed Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, about the alleged memo and the War on Democracy he barged past and commented to an aid, “David Kelly, that bastard.”