Sweatshops To Get Air-Conditioning

Fashionable cattle-market Primark has announced that all of its sweatshops will now have air-conditioning installed to improve the worklives of its slaves.

This news is a monumental relief for the toiling, boiling sweatshop-joblings, as they now stand a slightly increased chance of surviving until the end of each working day.

Primark's exemplary example is hoped to encourage poorer countries like America to stop rejecting bills outlawing the sale of sweatshop-produced merchandise; as Primark's spokesperson stated, "Clothes can still be funky and affordable even though they aren't stained with the fingerprints of human suffering."

Primark's new tactic has been greeted, primarily, with suspicion and general dismay. Tracy from Slough summed up the negative response, 'If we are required to subsidise the cost of these air-dispensers through increases in merchandise prices, I will literally shit.'

It is being insisted by Primark's PR spokesperson that Scunt stop referring to these places as sweatshops and start calling them happy factories.

Happy factories it is.