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24 Feb 2010 - 6:51pm

Ferguson Set To Be Banished To Wilderness

Ferguson Set To Be Banished To Wilderness

Manchester United’s all-powerful ruler Sir Alex Ferguson is set to be banished to the ‘football wilderness’ by the Football Association after a series of indiscretions, culminating in Sir Alex making a...

Women In Football: You Must Be Joking!

Women In Football: You Must Be Joking!

She may not be a stern yet fashionable looking Italian man, but she is technically an England manager.

Reports have been circulating that the England Football Playing Ladies manager and slightly smaller and less funny Whoopi Goldberg-a-like, Hope Powell, could be in line to take the reigns at lowly fish-...

Mugabe in Barnsley takeover bid

Mugabe in Barnsley takeover bid

Reports are emerging that controversial Zimbabwean dictator Robert Mugabe is laying the foundations for a takeover at Barnsley Football Club.

Mugabe’s representatives have been in contact with current owner Patrick Cryne about the possibility of a sale at various times throughout the past week, and...

England Beat Belarus (At Football)

England Beat Belarus (At Football)

England have beaten Belarus in a negligible World Cup qualifier.

Although fans in England seemed happy for their national team to win 3-0, amongst all the rhapsodic celebration it is easy to forget that a less fortunate team has lost 3-0 today as well.

In the name of understanding and with a sombre...

Britain's Olympic Preparations Off To Tragic Start

Britain's Olympic Preparations Off To Tragic Start

Government cover-ups are all too common these days but the latest journey down 'Humiliation Avenue ' is an Olympic stunt too far.

Less reputable news sources are reporting on the deaths of two young girls on Sunday evening in an alleged suicide tragedy.

However, all is not what it seems. Originally...

Former British General Claims D-Day Landings Worse Than Football Hooliganism

Former British General Claims D-Day Landings Worse Than Football Hooliganism

A former general has hit out against the violence he saw in the 1944 Normandy Landings, even comparing the worst of it to “something out of Football Factory”.

Speaking on last week’s Panorama special, Arthur Askey-Atkinson, 92, said “It was just as bad as the violence you see at The Bridge or Upton Park. At...

Afghan Goalkeeper Is a Massive Terrorist

Afghan Goalkeeper Is a Massive Terrorist

Afghanistan have entered their official football team into the 2012 Olympics.

There was an objection made by a United Nations official after he was made aware of the inclusion of a known active member of the Taliban.

The shot stopping terrorist, known only by the alias 'Nosama The Cat' was...

Semenya And Bolt Create Love Child

Semenya And Bolt Create Love Child

The worlds fastest man, Usain Bolt, and worlds fastest wo(man), Caster Semenya, have secretly created an offspring that pundits are now predicting will be the fastest human in the world.

The child, whose name cannot be revealed for legal reasons, is believed to be largely a boy although with three times the...

Prince Del Potro Dethrones King Federer In US

Prince Del Potro Dethrones King Federer In US

Former Tennis King, Roger I has been banished from his throne by Prince Juan Del Porto over a game held in the small land of Tennis, located someway down the M1.

Former King Roger I has ruled over the land of Tennis for the last five years and has won many "grand slams" in order to keep his place as the...

Football Chants Proved To Be Accurate And Impartial Judgments Of Peers

Football Chants Proved To Be Accurate And Impartial Judgments Of Peers

Arsenal FC is furious over opposition football fans' chants at a recent game that suggested Arsene Wenger, the team's manager, is a paedophile.

However, a recent study shows that there may be more veracity contained within inciteful football chants than originally believed.

Professor Pug from...

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The Wacky State Of US Sports
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North Wales Prepares For Motorcycle Armageddon
North Wales Prepares For Motorcycle Armageddon
On September 13th motorcyclists from around the UK will be converging on North Wales like a swarm of angry biker bees hell bent on causing a bi-wheel Armageddon. This action is in response to the...
England Wins Some Ashes
England Wins Some Ashes
The Queen has led tributes to England's cricket team after they reclaimed the coveted Ashes from a group of hairy Australians. The papers are ecstatic and the politicians are happy. Boris Johnson has...
Caster Semenya: Dude Runs Like A Lady
Caster Semenya: Dude Runs Like A Lady
Caster Semenya, winner of the 800m race at the World Athletics Championships, is at the centre of an international athletics maelstrom as questions are raised over her gender that bring a whole new...
'The Football' Starts Moving Again
'The Football' Starts Moving Again
The football has yet again begun to move. It started rolling at some point during the last few days and scientists are at a loss to explain its motivation in doing so. Upon noticing the football's...
Badminton vs. Extremism: When Opposites Attract
Badminton vs. Extremism: When Opposites Attract
The latest casualty of extremism is Badminton. Lashkar-e-Taiba is an extremist Muslim group based in Pakistan that has threatened the safety of Badminton players at the World Championships in India,...
England Cricket Run Bowled Out Twice For 3 Overs
England Cricket Run Bowled Out Twice For 3 Overs
England capitulated to 82-5 and trail Australia by 261 after two days of the Ashes Test in Leeds. The starting batsman went 16-for-pi which grew to 173-for-not-out as rain stopped proceedings from...
England To Host 2015 Rugby World Cup
England To Host 2015 Rugby World Cup
England have been chosen to host the Rugby World cup for the first time since 1991 and they couldn't be happier. Indeed it even feels like 1991 all over again. Nirvana is storming the charts. Desert...
Ferrari F1 Driver Fails To Die In Botched Suicide Crash
Ferrari F1 Driver Fails To Die In Botched Suicide Crash
Formula One racing person Felipe Massa has been hurt in a high-speed accident. But what did he expect? This is, after all, the man who occasionally lowers himself into an single-seated, open-cockpit...
Gerrard: When Footballers Attack
Gerrard: When Footballers Attack
Another day, another footballer accused of attacking a member of the public. This time, Steven Gerrard is on trial for launching an assault on a DJ in a nightclub. Following closely in the...

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