Submitted by RD Goodwin on 7 October 2009 - 8:47am
Government cover-ups are all too common these days but the latest journey down 'Humiliation Avenue ' is an Olympic stunt too far.
Less reputable news sources are reporting on the deaths of two young girls on Sunday evening in an alleged suicide tragedy.
However, all is not what it seems. Originally planned as one of a series of events to mark the Olympics coming to London in 2012, the Women's Synchronised Diving team were practising a showcase dive from the Erskine Bridge in Scotland, when the tragic tragedy occurred and two divers fell to their fates.
In an desperate attempt to save Britain's international Olympic face, a Labour and Conservative spin-doctor coalition was formed to invent a reasonable cover story: after hours of deliberation, even this gathering of the most morally bludgeoned political frontal lobes could not invent a satisfactory alternative explanation.
Outside help presented itself in the form of Phil Redmond and a team of Hollyoaks writers who came up with a 'suicide pact' story worthy of at least one BAFTA nomination; knowing as they did that a nation who can believe a lesbian love triangle could end in death by tampered parachute (Hollyoaks plotline #89685736728194), is a nation that could believe in a tragic-teen-suicide-bridge-jumping-tragedy.
Gargoylic racist Nick Griffin came forward to share his condolences and added that "it's a terrible tragedy to befall two such promising Caucasians."
A government spokesman has declined to comment while Gordon Brown is claiming to have no knowledge of the event, or of Scotland.
Truly, truly tragic.
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