Untertainment

19 million people watched the X Factor grand finale last night and saw a human person out-sing another human person.

Or in other words, 19 million people have completely given up on both love and life, and now wait for the warm embrace of death in the most soiled, unclean and obscene way possible.

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Tiger Woods has begun his inevitable descent from patriarch to pariah by eagerly mounting the deviant zip-wire of infidelity.

The full-time golf-club operator has made a mockery of the institution of marriage, indulging in a string of dubious affairs with the sorts of women who appear wearing soulless smiles...

Stephen Fry has threatened, and then unthreatened, to leave social networking site Twitter after he was accused of being boring by another user.

@BrumPlum is that user. Having negatively evaluated the much-loved Fry; a man who suffers from sporadic lapses of confidence and self-worth, Plum is now seeking to...

The first in an inevitable series of Michael Jackson themed films will be released tomorrow.

In order to adequately frame that information, try to picture the decaying corpse of mediocre pop attached to flimsy wires and horizontal control-bars being made to sing falsetto platitudes by industry puppeteers....

Tracey Emin has explained how she feels about things.

In an interview with the Murdoch Times she said that she was "very seriously considering leaving Britain," because she was "simply not willing to pay tax at 50%."

Emin claims that she requires shielding from the radioactive fallout of Brown's dirty...

James May, the acceptable face of racism, has done something mischievous again. He has crashed a blimp into a tree.

At this juncture, we would like to point out that we came across this news the hard way.

Because Scunt hijacks all of its news content directly from the Daily Star; finding, as we do,...

Polanski is a Polish-French film director with a penchant for young girls. Polanski had dirty sex with a young girl many years ago and will now go to jail. Polanski hates jail.

Those short sentences have been stretched into hundreds of square column metres over the past days and two factions are emerging....

Half-man and half-wizard Charlie Brooker has picked a fight with the voice of inconvenient reason David Mitchell.

The altercation arose when Charlie Brooker accused David Mitchell of indulging in an arcane monologue.

A long, tediously verbose argument began, during which The Brooker challenged The...

Channel 4 has announced that, in a last-ditch bid to improve its reputation after 10 years of Big Brother, the station will focus on producing "taboo-shattering documentaries". An insider has confirmed that paedophilia will be the first subject to go under the voyeur's knife.

'Paedotrial', as the series is...